Father’s Day 2020
I told myself I wasn’t going to grieve today. Then I realized that love, and memories, and grief are all intertwined in a knot that cannot possibly be untangled by sheer will. But above all, today, in this moment, I am thankful.
I am thankful for forty six years of having a father who loved us unconditionally and completely. I am thankful for memories of vacations, and holidays, and every days.
I acknowledge your faults, many of which manifest themselves in my all too similar personality. Yet still I am thankful, for those seeming weaknesses become strengths when faced with adversity. And by trying to understand you, I understood myself somewhat better.
I am thankful for the nearly twenty years you were a “fun” Papa to the grands and that they are old enough to have those memories to comfort them in their grief.
I am thankful that whether you knew it or not, you left a legacy. Both in the memories of your work ethnic, willingness to help others, and ability to do anything, and the physical manifestation of the cabins in the woods.
And in the end – those last months and weeks – although I can never be thankful for the cruel way in which you were taken far too soon, I am thankful that we did have a chance to say goodbye and only can hope that you knew how much we loved you.
I am still sad. I am still often VERY angry. I am resigned. I am sometimes in denial. But I am absolutely, completely and totally thankful that I had you as a Daddy. Happy Father’s Day.
-Karri Temple Brackett
June 21, 2020